When Perfect Isn’t the Goal: Embracing Your Whole Self

Perfectionism is sneaky. It shows up in the way we try to be the perfect child, the perfect friend, the perfect partner, the perfect employee, or whatever your current role may be. But when that feels out of reach, many of us shift into telling ourselves that we aren’t good enough.

But as I reflect on that phrase, good enough, I find myself wondering: where did that come from? Whose decision is it to determine if one is or is not good enough? Somewhere along the way, many of us internalized the idea that our value and worth are tied to performance. If we achieve enough, caretake enough, look polished enough, maybe then we’ll finally be safe from criticism or rejection.

Here’s the thing: being “good enough” doesn’t have to feel small or limiting. In fact, learning to accept ourselves at that level can be incredibly freeing. It means acknowledging our efforts, our progress, and our humanity without feeling pressure to be perfect in every role or situation. Being “good enough” allows us to show up authentically, make mistakes, and still recognize our worth.

Shifts like this, unfortunately, don’t happen overnight. It often takes gentle curiosity and practice to notice when perfectionism is speaking and to remind yourself that your value isn’t defined by flawless performance. It’s about being compassionate with yourself, celebrating what you are able to do, and giving yourself permission to simply exist without judgement.

Being “good enough” is not settling. It is opening the door to a life where you can truly thrive. My hope is to walk alongside you as you learn to open that door and create a safe space where you can explore these beliefs, notice where perfectionism has shaped your life, and learn to live with more acceptance, ease, and authenticity.

By Caley Fuller, MA, MMFT

*Responsibly created with the help of ChatGPT