Self-Care vs. Numbing: What’s the Difference?

Self care and numbing often look the same on the outside; but don’t be fooled: their intention and outcomes are quite different.

Self care is intentional, restorative, or grounding. It helps replenish our energy, making us feel more balanced and capable. The key is these activities are intentional and feed long-term well-being. 

Numbing, on the other hand, is an avoidance strategy. It temporarily relieves discomfort while avoiding the root cause. This puts off the discomfort for later. It does not help it go away.

Healing comes from gently acknowledging emotions and practicing self-care that truly soothes and comforts you.

To discern whether you’re engaging in numbing or self-care, ask yourself:

• What is my intention? Am I caring for myself, or avoiding something?

• How do I feel afterward? Do I feel grounded and refreshed, or do I feel guilty, disconnected, or still overwhelmed?

• Is this helping me in the long-run? Is this action contributing to my health or growth, or am I putting off feelings of discomfort?

Common numbing behaviors are excessive screen time, compulsive shopping, overworking, or overindulging in food or alcohol. When these behaviors are regularly used to avoid emotions rather than process them, they become problematic.

Finding Balance

If you notice numbing behavior, be compassionate with yourself. Avoiding pain is a natural response. By making a slight change, you can foster healing and resilience, rather than numbing. Remember, healing comes from gently acknowledging emotions and practicing self-care that truly soothes and comforts you. 

Take a moment to go through these examples of different areas of self care. While you’re reading, ask yourself:

• Which of these areas feels most neglected in your life?

• What small, manageable steps can you take to integrate more self-care?

• What activities make you feel recharged instead of drained?

1. Emotional Self-Care Journaling or Voice Recording: Writing down or recording thoughts and emotions to process them. Creative Expression: Art, music, or writing to channel emotions. Setting Boundaries: Saying “no” sometimes to protect your emotional energy. Self-love: Increase positive self-talk. Talk to yourself as if you’re talking to a friend.
2. Physical Self-Care Movement: Walking, yoga, dancing, or any form of enjoyable exercise. Rest: Prioritizing sleep and relaxation. Nutrition: Eating in a way that fuels and supports your body. Body Care: Massages, stretching, skincare, or simply taking deep breaths. Sexuality: Take time to be sexual, with yourself or with a partner.	3. Mental Self-Care Mindfulness or Meditation: Practicing being present and reducing stress. Reading or Learning: Engaging your mind in something meaningful. Gratitude Practice: Focusing on what brings joy and appreciation. Self-Reflection: Take time to listen to your inner experience.
4. Social Self-Care Connecting with Loved Ones: Prioritizing quality time with friends and family. Seeking Support: Reaching out when you need help or validation. Social Media Boundaries: Unfollowing negativity and limiting yourself to what feels like a healthy amount of media for you. Engaging in Community: Volunteering, joining a group, or helping others	5. Spiritual Self-Care  Connecting with Something Greater than Yourself: Ground yourself in the outdoors, practice meditation or prayer. Reflection: Exploring purpose, values, and what brings meaning. Rituals: Creating personal traditions that feel sacred and fulfilling. Wonderment: Being open to inspiration, awe, wonder, and the nonmaterial aspects of life.

Scheduling self-care in simple ways throughout your day or week can help you build healthy habits and a more nurtured, grounded, fulfilling life.

Remember, healing comes from gently acknowledging emotions and practicing self-care that truly soothes and comforts you. This helps foster true healing and emotional resilience, rather than the temporary relief of numbing. 

Therapy can be a useful place to explore default numbing, identify underlying emotions, and build healthier strategies. We are here if you want support. 

You got this! 

Hanna

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